apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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