he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
