Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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