I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
