Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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