Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
