a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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