Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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