WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
