i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
