She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
