I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Your dad touched me again.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
