It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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