just tell him i said nine months
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
