its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Couch. On fire.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize