And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
