I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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