PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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