Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
