Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
