i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
