I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
