I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
