And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
