drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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