That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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