Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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