Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
