Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
