If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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