Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
