physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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