Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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