haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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