sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
