I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
