how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
