Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
