I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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