I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize