The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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