You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
