Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
