Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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