2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
