Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize