I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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