Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
