My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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