Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he puts the penis in happiness.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I love having hate sex.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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