I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
This is the high leading the old right now
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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