i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
