Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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