every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
