scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
