So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
