Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
