I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
