ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
