I heard we made out
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
