She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
