I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
