i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
