I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
