I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
