On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
