woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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