Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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