Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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