He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
