ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
