Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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