do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
