Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
