absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize