Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
