i just had sex bonerless
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My vagina just clenched in fear
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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