He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
