I think I am morally bankrupt
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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