she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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