K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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