Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
